It will take long getting used to the fact that you are no longer with me.
I was deeply shattered when news broke on Sunday. At least I am glad that you are resting well and that you do not have to feel anymore pain.
Yesterday was extremely difficult for me. I kept hoping against hope that they would all be wrong and that you would wake up at a point. I was wrong.
I am left with endless memories of your love and genuine concern for all that you knew. I am reminded of how you extended all of that to me. I recall being a fragile toddler whom you nurtured.
Do you recall how you used to pack me some roasted sweet potatoes as snacks? Do you remember that time we wore similar flip flops and made that a big deal? How about that time I asked you to pose for a photo I’d post on my instagram?
These are but a select few that could make it to my head in this moment. Over the course of these days I have remembered so many things that have only exacerbated the apparent vacuum in my life.
I know you must be in a better place where you will never have to wince or grimace.
I hope that I lead life through the mantras and dogmas which you held dear. Whenever I feel like questioning some of them, I am reminded of your huge testimony. Now that you’re with the stars, I ask that you remind me to keep my faith and to hope for better days to come.
I am sorry that I wanted you to stay around a bit longer. I wanted closure but I forgot that this was never about me. I think that no matter how much you try, you can never prepare for someone’s departure.
Send my love to those who went before you.
I never said goodbye yesterday. I merely said till we meet again.
Rest in peace.